first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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