i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
