even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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