He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
