Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
