shes about as inviting as chlamydia
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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