i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize