Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
