yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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