I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
