You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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