I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
