I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
