Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
