how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
