It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
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I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
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everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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