they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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