i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
