My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
