Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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