I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
