I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
