i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i think im in europe. pls send help
My life is pants optional.
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