good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
