so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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