chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
