it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
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so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
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My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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