You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
