i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
