he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
