i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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