I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
