dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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