We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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