you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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