she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
