I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
