No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
