I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
