I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
