Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
