She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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