States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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