i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Terrible idea I love it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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