I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
