A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
