Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
