Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
