Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
