I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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