This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize