Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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