It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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