I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
