well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
