She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
should my penis look like a turkey
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
