I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
